It’s true.

Somedays I pretend to be someone I’m not. Some days, even when I’m at work, I pretend. How childish and silly is that?

Well, let me tell you, sometimes it comes in handy at times to pretend you’re some one you’re not.

There’s this story from when I was in college, working at a camp. (where i met my handsome husbuddy…) The story goes like this:

Some days while at camp, I pretended to be Joan of Arc. The end.

Now, let give this *disclaimer:: this is NOT my original idea.  I have to give all the credit to my college friend, Steph. She is an amazing and dear person. During freshmen year of  college (yes, we were that old!) sometimes we’d play pretend games together. Let’s just say, we were born with active imaginations and can’t help it. Basically, she told me this secret, sometimes she would pretend to be Joan of Arc when she was facing something difficult and needed the courage that she didn’t have. She’d pretend to have it. It made her actually have courage!

I thought it was brilliant!

SO- back to the original-off-the-track story: at summer camp, I would pretend to be Joan of Arc to stop myself from laughing. Let me tell you, I have a horribly, embarrassing giggle and when I start, I can’t stop. {and i’m not going to lie, it was especially embarrassing in front of a certain boy…} So, at summer camp there was this game where everyone had to go around silently and be super serious (or something like that, i don’t exactly remember) and the counselors or the people who were “IT” had to make the other people laugh or scream or whatever. So during those times, I would pretend to be Joan of Arc-to get her strength and courage and feirceness -and to channel my friend Steph, in order to be completely, totally serious during the situation.

And it worked.

People would ask me how I could be so serious during the game when all other times you would find me breaking a smile and laughing so darn easily!

Then one day i gave away my secret. to a friend. who i thought would keep it secret

and the next thing i know, that little secret went up on the “quote board”… and then eventually made it to the counselor sweatshirt. DOH! how embarrassing is that?!!

{and Steph was pissed that I stole her idea! HA. Hence the disclaimer*above*}

***

Anyway, back to the original story.

Inspired by how well the Joan of Arc pretending went, some days, at work, I pretend to be Harold.

Harold was the Project Manager at my first job. Basically, he was very brilliant and very good at being an architect. He was tedious too. I mean, he would take my carefully drawn up plans and cover them with circles, x’s, and lines with the dreaded red pencil…He marked every, little, tiny, minuscule detail. EVERY. SINGLE. DETAIL.

It made my head spin. I was a little intern. Not even finished with school. I didn’t know how to really use the computer program, let alone how a wall was built. I didn’t know anything about how to lay out a dimension grid. I had no idea how to get the text to print the right size! You get the picture. I was clueless.

I was missing all of the little details… and Harold was marking up all of my hard work with his darn red pencil!

Harold was a detail person. A focused person. A get things done, person.

Harold and his darn red pencil, taught me a lot though. See, I’m not a detailed person. I have a hard time focusing on the plans to fix them. It taught me a lot about how I need to be a detailed person, even though it’s against my nature, to be able to do this job well.

So now, on days that are hard and when I have to be super focused and look at all of the details… I pretend to be Harold. I pretend to be focused when it’s beyond my own ability to be.It helps me through the day. It helps me to be a focused person and to look at my own drawings as if I was someone else looking at all the details. And some day, hopefully soon, I won’t need to pretend to be focused any more, I just will be.

So, Harold, if you’re out there, thank you. Thanks for letting me pretend to be you.

***

There ya go, you’ve seen a little page of this “architect in training”  girl’s journal.  Intense and personal. And now out in the open for the whole world to read. Whatever helps you through your day, man. If you’re reading this and in need courage, faith, or focus… just pretend to be someone else who you admire and you’ll be amazed at how this helps you to actually be what you want to be. Pretty soon the pretend becomes real.

I don’t need Joan of Arc any more to have courage.  Hopefully, pretty soon, I won’t need Harold any more to do a good job at focusing or at correcting plans.

***

please note: this is not my original idea *i copied Steph* {see *above* if you’re confused} hee hee :)

***

How about you guys? Ever pretend to be someone else  because you’re special for a very special reason? Or I am the only whacky person out there?

Advertisements